Tan Lines

I don't want to come off as vain, but I look damn good with a nice tan. I'm naturally tan, due to a bit of ethnic diversity, and the sun only serves to compound my bronzy tone. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I turn out to be Mister Hawaiian Tropic, but I've got a good head start on the competition. I tend to burn in the face, but I honestly can't remember the last time anything below my shoulders burned, and the damage to my face only lasts a few days.

Last summer my own mother didn't recognize me after my corps tan, and when I came home for the 4th of July, my ex-gf asked "who's that mexican guy?" It was me hun, it was me. I sent my mom a really great picture, that, if she weren't driving to Canada right now, I would call her for and post here. It's a shot of my legs and feet, in which my feet are ghostly in comparison to the near-blackness of my calves.

I didn't catch the worst of it either: a trumpet player named Justin burned himself so badly that his shoulders turned bubblegum pink, sprouted massive blisters that oozed for a few days, then burst open leaving cracks all over his shoulders. This caused our director to one day shout from the scaffold, "Baritones you were late on that last entrance, and Justin, for god's sake put a shirt on."

Drummers are often fond of their so-called "Harness tans." No it's nothing kinky, it's just the lines from their drum harnesses, leaving them with lines around this

It should be noted that everyone can have their own special set of lines. I believe in fairness, so here's a shout out to all you beach bunnies, surfer dudes, and even you nerds who get a watch tan on your way to Radio Shack.